Monday, July 27, 2009

I'm in tears.

You know, I thought this week was alright. I thought I was going to trudge through it. I could keep my head high just this once. There is no problem too big.

I never used to be the emotional kind of person.

I just talked to my mom on the phone. I had made dinner for my family and grandparents tonight because my parents are busy with work and my grandma shouldn't make dinner anymore, really. I was short with my mom on the phone and I'm not even sure why. I could hear my father yelling at me on the other line for my attitude. I could hear him telling me that he was sick of it and I wouldn't go to Florida. Granted, I know that this has happened before and I will still be going, but I don't like it being threatened to be taken away either. I called my mom back after I ate with my grandparents in order to ask if I should cover up the food for them. She then apologized for my father and said that he was on edge today. It turns out, they found out my aunt Sandy's baby stopped moving. It's dead.

And so I'm crying.
Maybe I shouldn't be. I mean, I knew that it was going to happen anyway. It wasn't supposed to happen today. And I wish that it hadn't. I wish it hadn't happened at all. I was hoping for a miracle.
I've never been so upset to not be able to know someone.
That was my baby cousin.

And I can't imagine what Aunt Sandy and Uncle Dave are going through.

Prayers would be appreciated. Please.

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