Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Spoiler alert: This post is possibly completely out of line

I had every intention of staying completely positive throughout this whole blog.

But you know what?
I'd rather be real than lie with positivity.
I can't stomach that kind of behavior, I'm sorry.

It's not like I haven't tried. It's not my fault you're unwilling to cooperate.
And I could sit here and throw my vocal daggers of assassination at you, because maybe I'm not better than that.
But honestly, I'm tired of this game of cat and mouse.
I'm tired of us both hiding behind a shell of ambiguity.
Yet neither of us wants to wave that white flag. Instead, you'd rather just run from the battlefield.
Nice move. Real classy.

You know, it's amazing when you think that you're getting to know someone. I say "getting to know" because I don't believe in knowing someone completely. There is always an unexplored edge. Always a hidden crevice of character. Which, to me at least, is what makes the process of getting to know an individual all the more fascinating. And part of me still wants to explore the one individual who has decided to- unintentionally, mind you- openly loathe my existence. But they have fled from the scene. Whether or not they will return, I do not know.
It's not like I haven't seen the same exact pattern before.
It's not like I didn't know it was coming in the first place, ironically.
I didn't choose this. You'd be foolish to think that I made that decision.

Maybe this post is from my unreleased aggression for the day. Maybe I'll wish I hadn't posted it later. But right now, all I want is for all of this to stop. Not fast forward to the part where we're better. Not rewind to better times. Just stop. So that when I push play again, the mixed tape runs smoother than it did with the tangled mess that we are now.

You'd be foolish to think this blog made me feel better.
Even more so if you believe this is the end.

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