Friday, December 4, 2009

Drops of Jupiter

Today I feel black and white.

That may not make much sense to you, but perhaps you should take it from an artistic perspective. Then it may be more clear... or maybe not. But I'd rather you interpret it than just have me explain it to you. Where's the fun in easy explanations?

Well, today started off alright, I guess. I had two exams today- one for German and one for English (the grammar portion). I aced them both, and it's just nice to have them out of the way. Then, I went to the painting studio for my painting date with Allen. I spent 3.5+ hours there- most of which were actually enjoyable. My painting is finished. i only say this because I couldn't find anything else to do to it. I needed a second opinion, and Allen had left before giving me a thorough one.

After that I ventured back to my room, where I fell asleep on the couch till about 8:30. This is bad news bears, let me tell you. Because of that nap, I will not be able to get to sleep at a decent hour tonight.

And now I want to cuddle. Yet, there is no one present to cuddle with. And being alone right now just put me in a funky, depressing mood. So I went for a walk in the snow to get some tea, in hopes of clearing my mind a little. This is the thought process that I have drawn in that time:

1. I did not want to get attached. I don't want to get attached. I am NOT attached. I MUST keep telling myself these things.
2. If I have to keep telling myself these things, then am I in denial?
3. Break is coming up and soon it will not matter.
4. Let's try texting he-who-must-not-be-named
5. He replied?! That's a first.
6. Goodness! I need gloves. My hands are freezing! Not even my tea is keeping them warm.
7. This is like, legit movie snow. Like... the snow you'd see in a movie.
8. I feel like I'm in a movie... and I feel really pretty. WEIRD.
9. I want to watch the Muppets Christmas Carol really badly.
10. My holey jeans were not a good choice for snowy weather.

That is about it. I just have a very unsettling feeling. And I... I WANT IT FIXED. Haha, I don't understand why I feel in this way at the moment. Maybe I should just try to ignore it.

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