Well, New Years Eve came and went. I had fun, wish I had taken pictures, and did not get a kiss at midnight.
About a million of negative emotions are running through my body at the moment. I don't like feeling negative. Much to probably prior belief, I'm actually more of an optimist than I am a pessimist.
And this past weekend made me smile. The boy I like, Allen, picked me up on Friday night to hang out and watch a movie at his apartment. I love how I feel when I'm around him. And it's refreshing to not be able to figure someone out completely. I hadn't expected to see him at all, because I knew he would most likely be out with his friends for both NYE and New Years day (evening, haha). I told him that I could wait a week to see him- since that's when school starts back up- but if he wanted to see me before then, that it would have to be Friday night, since I would be returning home in the morning. I'd expected a quick, "well, I'll see you in a week, because I am going out tonight", as opposed to the actual result. No one has ever done anything like that for me. I was flattered. And when he dropped me back off, he said he'd see me soon and I melted. Hahaha, I think I like him more than I'm willing to admit to myself. I'm still trying to be super cautious. I don't want to be played again. Wow. I just wrote a bigger paragraph than I had expected.
Anyway, that is my little piece of happiness that I'm holding on to for the week. It's like my own shining star. A moment that shined so bright in my eyes that I don't dare let it out of my grasp just yet.
Back to the depressing? Hahahaha, well, not really depressing- more like frustrating, I think. My mother came into my room the other night and told me that lately I've been a disappointment. No one likes hearing that they disappoint someone. Then, she proceeded to bring up a "concern" that she and my father have for me. It's none of their business (although, I realize that they are just showing that they care), and quite frankly, I am perfectly fine when it comes to that "concern". It does not bother me and I manage quite well with what I have.
On top of that, my dad seemed to be completely angry with me tonight and I have no idea why. And I was ten minutes late for my evening "curfew", although I rushed home like a fiend so that I could register for classes. Turns out, I can't register until the 6th now. Which basically ruins my chances for changing anything, I'm guessing. But anyway, fingers crossed?!
Other than that, life is life and I need to learn to enjoy it more than I already do. This year will hopefully be a good one. It was already off to a great start and I have high hopes.