Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Think, Thank, Thunk?

So fun fact:

when I was younger, I truly believed I was fearless. I wanted to be a stunt double, because the idea of putting myself at risk for fun was cool and intriguing. Me. Lydia Lorraine. A stunt double.

I believed I was completely fearless. But I realize now I was just naive to the idea of the world being a scary place.

And now I'm older. And now I'm scared when I just want to be back in my comfortable, naive bubble.

What's funny is that I can admit to you over the internet that I'm scared about things. I won't be specific, because afterall it is the internet. But I figure my fears are just as common as any other typical college student's fears. But in person? Getting me to actually talk about how I feel about things outside of the social networking systems that can mask emotions through lack of facial expression? Yeah. Good luck with that one.

Do you think you can over-analyze yourself? A lot of times I feel like I'm playing psychiatrist with myself. I'm not crazy. But I like to analyze people and situations and personalities and the like. I like psychiatry, I think. I like to think about the way an individual's mind works. And whose mind to better start with than my own, ya know?
But what are the dangers of examining your own mind? Are there limits? Could you go too far?
I'm sure a lot of people just figure that I'm discovering who I really am. But it's more than that. I'm literally analyzing. Analyzing how I got to be who I am, maybe.

Just think, think, think. It is consuming and distracting and if I could stop it, I would at this point. I'm too busy to be bothering with analytical thoughts. I have specific things to focus on. I have a life.

Life is life.
Time to focus on this paper... I don't think I'll sleep tonight. :(
Anyway, sorry I just needed to empty space in my mind, so I could hopefully focus. Let's see if it worked, shall we? :P

1 comment:

  1. I've heard that each person passes 60 000 thoughts through their minds every day, which is totally crazy. I think you're doing the right thing by thinking haha.

    P.S. Thanks for the comment on my "take that, kessler" post. Glad to hear you're happy about the game, as well. As much as it sucks to lose against any team for anything, both teams still walked away with a medal-two great ones at that!