Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Stressed out:

Well, I have been slacking in the blogging department lately, I guess. Truth be told, I am unbelievably stressed. It got to the point today that I even broke down in my 8AM class. I had a presentation that was due and I just walked right up to my professor and tried to see if I could get it pushed back another week. To which she later told me that I probably wouldn’t be able to fit it in next week. I needed those points. Then we had a nice long chat about what is going on and what is more important to me. She literally told me that I would come in every day looking exhausted and that today she was even legitimately scared and worried about me. Stress is catching up to me and it isn’t doing well for me mentally.

In other news, my grandmother went into the hospital maybe a week and a half ago and lots of people were convinced, including her, that she wasn’t coming back out this time. Things were looking grim which added more stress to my plate. Needless to say, Grandma is doing much better and is home for the time being.

My aunt Lisa got married this past weekend and I played photographer. Well, one of the photographers anyway. It was a beautiful wedding and I had no problem being nearly the only person on the dancefloor at one point. It was actually a pretty enjoyable weekend home. And I found out that after my last final, I go home for the weekend, and then I move up to Gaylord to start work for the summer. I’m ready to be on my own to a point.

I’ve been casually dating this one guy. And he’s really great. And he wants to be official with me, even though summer is in less than two weeks and I’ll be so far away. He’s sweet and seems like the kind of guy that I would really be great with. But truth be told, I do not trust him. I have reason to not trust him. He was trying to show me some pictures of his cat on his phone and naturally I was looking over his shoulder as he was searching for one. Chances are he doesn’t even remember anyway since he’d had so much to drink. But there were pictures on his phone. Certain pictures.
I was worried about him last night so I didn’t sleep more than an hour and a half. This morning I noticed a notebook labeled “memories” on his floor and out of my curiosity and boredom, I picked it up. Bad idea. Not only does this make me look like I was snooping, but I immediately set it back down after reading something that made my stomach turn. What do you do when you find out that someone lied to you but they don’t know that you know? What am I supposed to do? He needs me right now to support him and be his friend, but this is going to drag me under the bus; and I’m supposed to be looking out for myself more so. Ugh, I don’t know what to do or how to handle this all right now.

Stress has prevented me from sleeping and also eating. I suppose this is alright because then I might lose some weight. It’s not really the way I’d prefer about going about it, of course. I feel really unhealthy today and like I cannot move. Thing is that I’ve got a photography project due tomorrow morning and a painting that I haven’t started. So I suppose I should get going.

Well, that’s my life recapped at the moment. Hope yours is going well. :)


  1. Oh :( You should eat something. Try having something small like a yogurt or a fruit. I hope everything works out with the boy. You should be as honest with him as you can - honesty is always the best policy. Yeah...he may get annoyed that you snooped, but in the end you'll feel better and so will he once the big fat elephant in the room is cleared.


  2. Heyy - There's an award waiting for you on my blog :)