Sunday, July 25, 2010


Well, I'm single again.

And to be honest, I've had a pretty rough week.
I don't think I've ever felt this low or upset.

Dean accused me of cheating on him right in front of his face. Granted, it was completely false. I would never cheat on anyone. Ever. EVER. No matter the circumstance, I wouldn't even think to do something like that. But when alcohol is involved, people tend to not think as clearly as perhaps they should.
He said some awful things to me and I went home in tears. I broke it off with him. It's hard though. Really hard.
I think that the worst part so far today is when we went to church- not because we were in church, because honestly I was glad to get back to church- but my grandmother turned to me and asked, "where is Dean?" and when I told her that he had gone home, she followed it up with, "well, is he coming back?" My mother then hushed my grandma and said that we would talk about it later.

I just have a lot on my mind.
And I don't want to be around anyone at all for a while.

This is going to suck for a while.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Sweet Home:

Well, it has been a month or two now, hasn’t it?

Gaylord sucks the time out of everything. I never knew what day it was or what time it was, because every day was what seemed like the same. Work was brutal and stress-filled. I would go back to my lovely accommodations at the end of the day and literally just crash at about 9:30, usually while watching some kind of movie that I rented.

If you haven’t already heard, I quit. Two days ago actually. There was a lot of things said that were inappropriate and rather unprofessional- in my opinion- and I would dive into the details for you, but chances are that that would be against my better interests, since it has all happened so suddenly and there is still a lot of bad air floating around. Needless to say, there were a lot of tears shed on my part and now I’m home. I will only miss certain people that I worked with or for.

I actually talked for about an hour to the Australians that lived upstairs from me (they stayed in the town homes for like 3 weeks!) before I left yesterday morning. We exchanged e-mail addresses and they said that if I ever needed a place to stay in Australia- if I ever get over there- then they would be more than happy to house me for a little bit! They were super nice and I sat and listened about their travels around the states and sipped on a cup of coffee that they made me- which, of course, I don’t like coffee but I thought the company that it would bring would be nice before leaving.

Back when I was still working there, I had come home for almost an entire week due to back problems that I needed to see my chiropractor about. After that week, as I was driving back up to work, I had a hard time believing that I was even going back to work. It was like this oddly surreal feeling that I wasn’t actually driving to a destination, but rather that I was just driving. Odd, huh?

Now I’m home and couldn’t feel more fidgety. I need to do something with myself for the next month or I’ll go nuts. I had been working for 2 months pretty much straight and now I can’t seem to sit still. I’m hoping to ask DQ for my job back and everyone seems to think that that will work out for me. But if they don’t take me back, I seriously will go insane, haha.

Dean is now working for my parents, so I get to see him after he gets off work every day now. He is staying in our house, which most people would find it weird, but it really isn’t odd for my family and we’re not hard to adjust to. He and I still argue from time to time and I often find myself reevaluating things, but meh- arguing is apparently normal for two people to do. But it sure is nice to be home where I’m loved, that is for sure.

I’m job hunting in Mt. P on Friday. It should be interesting and I hope to find something for the fall. But I’m not getting my hopes too high, because I hear the job search up there isn’t going so well for most.

Anyway, there is probably much more that I can tell you but today I seem to be kind of out of it. Plus, Dean just got home so he’ll want to hang out.

I hope to update again soon.