Friday, September 24, 2010

Say So:

I'm not an individual without some form of intellect. Do I boast to be the most intelligent person out of my group of family or friends? Most certainly not. But I'm not stupid when it comes to logic and maturity and, you know- stuff.

But I will never understand how an individual can cheat on someone. I mean, obviously if the act occurs, the relationship was obviously not meant to last anyway. That person didn't care enough to not cheat, so you should not feel obligated or guilt-ed into staying in that relationship. You shouldn't stay, hoping for change and that they wouldn't do it again, because, in all honesty? The trust in that relationship is gone. I don't think you would ever be able to fully trust that individual ever again. You'd constantly be facing paranoia/suspicion that if you're not with them, they could be with someone else.
To be perfectly honest, I've dealt with it. Several times. I can truthfully say that I constantly go into relationships or dates with the idea that it won't go anywhere, because they aren't much different from the last guy. Which I guess could be a reason why I'm often giving off incorrect impressions of myself. It's a character flaw; these trust issues of mine. But, in my defense, they aren't all my fault. Can I be blamed for putting up walls in order to prevent history from repeating itself? Because, in fact, history does repeat itself. Over and over and over again.
Point is: I don't get how someone can choose to do that to someone. And the second you tell me that it wasn't a choice, I might drop the subject and walk away from you post-haste.

I've been sick lately. And it isn't fun.

Some people think I live and act more dramatically than others. You know what I think? The world is a big, small world. Chances are, there is someone, somewhere that has an equal or greater amount of dramatic experiences. that being said- life isn't bad, it's just not easy.

I miss the trailer park.
Does saying that make me some minuscule form of white trash? Because I miss a trailer park? If I had said differently would it change your point of view?

I miss my best friend, Matt. He called me today and he has just always been there for me.

Ever told a joke that you thought would be hilarious, and not realize that instead it was highly inappropriate or not a joke at all? Yeah, can't say I have. But I've heard some.

Okay, it is late and now I'm starting to just randomly wander off any particular subject and jot down what is popping up in my mind instead of developing meaningful points. That means I probably should just sleep.

I feel a huge change coming on. I am a little tired of some of my newly acquired habits and instead of just saying that I'm going to change, here's a thought: I'm ACTUALLY going to act on it.

Goodnight, moon.
Hello, sunshine.

Bigger than Love- My Favorite Highway

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Over Dramatic:

There is always something going on in life.
Life is never boring for anyone.

My life is the farthest thing from boring. That is for sure.

I'm not going to say I hate drama. I don't. Do I like it? No. Would I prefer to avoid it? Yes. However, it is a part of life and as soon as people start to actually realize that, the better. YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH DRAMA. Whether it is yours or someone else's. It's part of growing up and learning. So stop spending your time whispering in corners to your friends about how you hate drama and blah blah blah.
That being said, I live a very dramatic life.

Lately, I've been stressing out about everything big and small. School, Dean, home, money, lack-of-job, food, etc. But who doesn't have stress? For real, I need to just pull myself aside and be like, "CHILL OUT. YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE LIVING."

I love life. Currently, I've been acting all mopey and angsty towards my untimely luck, but overall, I'm alive and living and I know really awesome people.

Sometimes I wonder how I can listen to the same song over and over and over again. But I think it just depends on what mood I'm in or what is going on around me. I really like music I can really, really sing to. It's fun and it makes me feel good. I also like when I'm walking around campus and I find a good song to walk confidently to. Music effects my walk, haha. I walk confidently then and it leads to the feeling of sexiness. And who doesn't want to feel sexy?

Another thing today that I was wondering about was why don't they put clocks in a doctor's office? Like in the little room that the nurse puts you in to wait for your doctor. They just don't want you to know how long you wait? Because I think it makes you feel like you've waited longer than you actually have.
Personally, I don't like the doctor. Any doctor. Doctor's offices freak me out. And hospitals? Thank goodness I have not had to stay overnight at one yet. Everything about them scares me. Visiting my grandmother is hard enough sometimes, but I do it because I love her and it is important. (My grandma is currently doing fine. I'm just sayin')

I think I need to stop trying to figure people out. Well, no. That's not exactly what I mean. I need to stop being overdramatic. But then again, that just seems to be who I am maybe.

My birthday is coming up. I don't really expect anyone to do anything for it really. It'll come and go like it usually does. And that's okay. Just 20. I'm a junior in college and I'm still 19. Apparently, that is young.

That is all for now, I guess.
Unless you actually want to be updated on the drama? I don't know. Get back to me and maybe I'll fill you in.