I'm not an individual without some form of intellect. Do I boast to be the most intelligent person out of my group of family or friends? Most certainly not. But I'm not stupid when it comes to logic and maturity and, you know- stuff.
But I will never understand how an individual can cheat on someone. I mean, obviously if the act occurs, the relationship was obviously not meant to last anyway. That person didn't care enough to not cheat, so you should not feel obligated or guilt-ed into staying in that relationship. You shouldn't stay, hoping for change and that they wouldn't do it again, because, in all honesty? The trust in that relationship is gone. I don't think you would ever be able to fully trust that individual ever again. You'd constantly be facing paranoia/suspicion that if you're not with them, they could be with someone else.
To be perfectly honest, I've dealt with it. Several times. I can truthfully say that I constantly go into relationships or dates with the idea that it won't go anywhere, because they aren't much different from the last guy. Which I guess could be a reason why I'm often giving off incorrect impressions of myself. It's a character flaw; these trust issues of mine. But, in my defense, they aren't all my fault. Can I be blamed for putting up walls in order to prevent history from repeating itself? Because, in fact, history does repeat itself. Over and over and over again.
Point is: I don't get how someone can choose to do that to someone. And the second you tell me that it wasn't a choice, I might drop the subject and walk away from you post-haste.
I've been sick lately. And it isn't fun.
Some people think I live and act more dramatically than others. You know what I think? The world is a big, small world. Chances are, there is someone, somewhere that has an equal or greater amount of dramatic experiences. that being said- life isn't bad, it's just not easy.
I miss the trailer park.
Does saying that make me some minuscule form of white trash? Because I miss a trailer park? If I had said differently would it change your point of view?
I miss my best friend, Matt. He called me today and he has just always been there for me.
Ever told a joke that you thought would be hilarious, and not realize that instead it was highly inappropriate or not a joke at all? Yeah, can't say I have. But I've heard some.
Okay, it is late and now I'm starting to just randomly wander off any particular subject and jot down what is popping up in my mind instead of developing meaningful points. That means I probably should just sleep.
I feel a huge change coming on. I am a little tired of some of my newly acquired habits and instead of just saying that I'm going to change, here's a thought: I'm ACTUALLY going to act on it.
Bigger than Love- My Favorite Highway